I've been applying for jobs and working my ass off this week so I'm soooo glad it is the weekend. I have zero funds and no plans so in comparison to last weekend I think it might be a quiet one, but I have to say... I'm looking forward to it.
The last few weeks have been filled with drama, stress and people so I think a weekend of Ser3ndipity time might be just what the doctor ordered. Anyway, enough about the 'normal' and time to tell you about the fun things I've been up to this last week.
Girls night last Friday was a mixture of embarrassment, giggles, drunkenness, excess, honesty, and annoyance...
I picked Clio up early evening and as soon as we planted our bums on my sofas, the wine was opened and the conversation flowing. Luckily I had wine on the rack as I had popped to the supermarket on the way to pick Clio up and was refused alcohol as they felt I was 'too young'. It was a bitter sweet pill to swallow as I had a major hankering for the specific bottle of red I had picked out and yet to be told I look 13 years younger than I am... blissful!
Clio told me all about this new guy she has met a couple of times from the internet - 13yrs older than she is, owns two businesses and has definitely lived a full life up until now (marriage, kids and some seriously interesting life twists). I've a feeling she might be seeing this one a little while and had been SOLD that he might actually be worth her time until mid-evening when he called. Clio had told him that she was meeting me and I believe they have had a couple of conversations in which I have cropped up so of course the guy is a little curious. He had sent Clio a couple of texts as we were munching our takeout and putting the world to rights - no biggie! But to call when he knows that she is on a 'girls night' and they aren't even dating... Pissed me off. Of course I told Clio to answer if she wanted and before I knew it Ante (this is what we are going to call him) was on speakerphone and I was asking him a few questions... the kind that a sharpened tongue might throw out, I mean WTF... Get back in your box! Its girls night!
I think Ante managed to steal at least 30mins of our evening before Clio recognised that I was becoming thoroughly annoyed at the situation and put it to an end. Don't get me wrong bloggers, I am all for a potential new boy making sure he is never far from your mind... but to call!?! Outrageous.
By the time Ante was off the phone I had entered the world of excess and was on 5th glass of wine, 4th slice of pizza, and was officially cruising the land of the drunken; so I just threw it out there 'Were you serious about wanting some help with this oral sex, handjob thing'... Clio's face was bright red with embarrassment before she managed to mumble out the words 'yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm crap at it'.
Welcome the transformation from 'normal girls night' into 'the kind of girls nights that guys imagine/we see in the movies'... Hello dildo's!
The next hour or so was filled with giggles and probably one of the most honest conversations I've ever had with someone I've not known since high-school. Clio fully embraced 'the lesson' and I was left feeling like some kind of phallic superhero. Don't get me wrong bloggers... Through the years I've pretty much worked out that in terms of pleasing a guy in that way I knock most women out of the water, but to actually encounter what other women have thought was a great way to tough a guy or give oral sex... eye opening! I'm pretty sure Clio took on board a few things, and she did seem to have a slightly improved technique by the time she had left but it has left me pondering something...
Are all women this shocking at oral sex and hand-jobs? And, is there a niche market out there to be filled in terms of some kind of adult sex education master class? (What do you think?)
On a side note... Things are most definitely not one sided in the bedroom department with Cherry. Maybe we should team up and conquer the world adult sex class style
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How Many Licks - Lil Kim Ft Sisqo
I'd sign up. Aimee
ReplyDeleteMaybe You should.You probably would get paid good money for a fun job,and help alot of desperate people.I'm telling You I am so tired of having nightmares about wood chippers because MY gf is about as gentle with her mouth as a piranha.
ReplyDeleteMy question is if your lover is so bad they cause You pain and suffering,how do You get them to cease and desist without hurting their feelings?
Ooft Anonymous... that doesn't sound like fun!
DeleteWithout sounding harsh I would push back in your direction here blogger and ask 'why is it you feel you can't tell your other half what you do/don't like in the bedroom? Surely all you need to do is tell her what feels good?'
Failing that... Perhaps I should pass on my details and she can be my very first skype-sex-class customer lol x